it ain't easy

life is tough.  i don't know why i thought i would just breeze through my life like it's the easiest thing. i've had to work really hard at my relationships. i've noticed that once things get too heated in any situation i just tune out. it seems to work with my friends and acquaintances but not so much with my husband and family. marriage is hard y'all. i can't seem to wrap my mind around the whole thing and i've been married for eight plus years. i guess a lot has to do with how young we were when we were married and how much we've grown as individuals since then. many of the issues i have with how our marriage works has to do with my rigidness. i don't allow enough room to grow. i think i'm just stubborn. me, stubborn?? you don't say!
so how would you think poor Brian feels about this? well, let's just say he isn't always the happiest about the whole situation. i know i need to ease up, i know i need to take things a whole lot easier but how? how do i go with the flow? i guess that is something that i need to learn. i'm hoping that somehow with age this only improves because as we stand now, things aren't looking too good.

now, about my family. i'm absolutely horrible with my parents. i don't know what has happened to me. all they ever want to do is help and i treat them like they are just holding me back. i love my parents so dearly and am truly blessed to have them both in my life. Enzo has the most amazing relationship with both my mom and dad but especially with my dad. they compliment each other so well and he is just so gentle with him. i know something needs to change i can't just tune out of these relationships, i know it's my job to work on keeping myself accountable and available for my family. this is very difficult for me so it will take some effort but in the end i do need to work on this. i need to make the most of my life and my family.