Anti-Social Mom

i feel pretty bad for Enzo because i have not been making many mom friends. i tried, i really did. i joined a Meetup.com group last year and have only been to 3 of those meet ups. all of my friends and family with kids live about 45 minutes away from us. this makes it quite difficult to see them as often as i would like. i truly value my friendships and i get really bummed out when we can't make something work with our schedules. i miss hanging out with my friends.

at times i get lonely when i realize that i have no friends near me. no one to really just stop by and have a glass of wine with at the end of the night while our kids are asleep. i know the older i get the harder it is to make friends. i feel like i'm dating all over again trying to meet new friends. it's just weird, you know. so i shy away from these meet up groups because i'm scared of i don't know what.

so for the mean time i have no friends nearby. crap, i don't even really know the neighbors all that well. i actually try to hide from them because omg what would i even talk to them about? so how am i going to make new friends with this outlook? i really don't know.